October 17th, 2012

I HIT MYSELF. ALOT. :/

Let this be the last.

I hope and i want this to be the last time i'm talking about this. 

some might know what happened, some might not. 
but it's already obvious now, isn't it? 

Had another h2h talk again today. 
i thought about it when i was on cruise, when i was at bintan. 
yes, i know that it's over. 
what's holding me in? 
memories? feelings? hope? 
i don't know. 

we weren't together, we were never. 
or we were, unofficially. 
the damage is still as great. 

no one to blame except for myself. 
i didn't learn my lesson previously. 
why did i still give everything in what i do? 
i'm just plain stupid. 

As for now, i've already tried to be normal. 
I tried to talk to you today. 
but i don't know.. i don't want to be the only one who is always trying. 
one-sided in "relationship" is enough, i don't want one-sided in friendship too? (is there such thing? i don't know.) 

so from now, i'll control myself.
it might be hard, but i'll be strong. 

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